Me: 0, Dunkin Donuts: $2.39

I absolutely LOVE free stuff. Free t-shirts that i’ll never wear? Can’t get enough. Free pens that i’ll lose within a day? Keep ’em coming. Free mints on the way out of a restaurant that I don’t even really like? Scarfed down by the hundreds. So when I heard that Dunkin Donuts was celebrating National Coffee Day by giving out free coffee, I was ecstatic! Do I drink coffee? No. But I had a lot of work to do that day and figured a little bit of free caffeine with my cream and sugar would fit in just fine.

So the day I had been waiting for finally came (9/29) and I dragged my reluctant boyfriend out of bed so he could join in the festivities. We sped over to the nearest Dunkin Donuts and got in the drive-thru line. I proudly ordered a medium iced coffee and threw in a chocolate doughnut for the heck of it; he ordered a strawberry Coolatta. When I got my food and receipt, I immediately checked the medium coffee price to admire my financial victory. . .$2.39?!?! What have I done??? There must be some sort of mistake!!! I immediately notified my friends of the treachery and lies of our beloved DD and they responded with their own Free Coffee Day horror stories. We are still unsure of the true deal that Dunkin was offering that day but it was something along the lines of “Free Small Hot Dark Roast Coffee When You Show the Cashier the Add on Your Phone’s Dunkin App”. I ended up not even being able to finish the drink and spent the day fidgeting and feeling like my stomach was imploding. A colossal mistake.

Nonetheless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed by their marketing scheme. They managed to get me, and likely thousands of other idiots, to race over and buy themselves a (not free) medium coffee along with a few other things. I vowed to never buy from a Dunkin Donuts again, but I think we all know deep down that i’ll be back again soon enough because that chocolate doughnut was heavenly and I’m bad at keeping promises.

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