You ever been in the center of a local German city thinking: “Wait, I wanna check out Barcelona real quick cause I heard the beaches there were insane”? The problem here is that it’s a whopping 1,000 miles to get from one city to the next. Big-time buzzkill. For those of you who don’t care enough to gain some culture in the few minutes while you’re here, this article will probably be a waste of time, and you should move on to the next blog post written about the latest pizza flavor at Antonio’s. (Though their pizza is legen-hope you’re not allergic to-dairy).
Up until this point, Europeans have predominantly relied on the train system to get from point A to point B. Though dependable, these rides may take hours and get uncomfortably stuffed sooner than you wish. And to be restricted to minute space, for hours at a time without any breathing room, is hell. To put it into perspective for all you Americans: imagine taking the green line out of Fenway (or New York City, or any other train, really) for a day. Odds are, there will be a drunk dude next to you swaying back n’ forth eating his McDunks quarter pounder. Higher odds are, you have to relieve yourself four hours into the train ride, you’ll realize there aren’t any toilets, and you’ll have to hold that baby in for another twenty hours. Don’t get me wrong, it can be done. But it wouldn’t be enjoyable.
Now, thanks to Ryanair, we can book a flight to almost anywhere in Europe starting at the low price of $13!! That’s got big time savings written all over it. I know I’m Jewish, (shout-out to Professor Weinberg) but I know anyone in their right mind can see the opportunities being laid out for us right here.
Think about it:
- Ryanair costs start at $13 VS Eurorail costs start at $600
- Ryanair flight duration = 2-3 hours VS Eurorail duration = 10 hours minimum
Win! Win! Win! Ryanair wins! The competition is weak. By paying as little as $13, you get to the same place you would have with the train, minus a day’s, or even a few days’, worth of traveling time. That’s insane.
Now, you’re thinking, “This is too good to be true”. And, immediately after you insert Ryanair in the Google search engine, you toggle down the results to find drawbacks to this Ryanair situation. That’s when you start realizing this airline isn’t perfect. When flying with Ryanair, you’ll be charged extra fees for the following: checked bags (with higher rates during the summertime and December holiday “peak” periods), online check-in, priority boarding, even purchasing a flight (you’ll pay an “administration fee” of 6 GBP unless you make your booking with a MasterCard prepaid debit card). My question is who cares? I would pay with any damn credit card Ryanair wants as long as they give me a flight to Barcelona beach for $13! AND, even if you were charged with the above fees, Ryanair would STILL be cheaper than riding on the Eurorail. This is incredible. If anyone’s still not convinced to switch to the Ryanair fan bandwagon then have a great rest of the day next to the drunk guy on the Eurorail.
P.S. because no publicity is bad publicity, here’s a video that’s straight comedy: